Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
