You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
