windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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