The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
