I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
