I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
