I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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