The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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