haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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