There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
