I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
