i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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