Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
