I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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