I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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