And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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