What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
