She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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