Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
