My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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