You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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