i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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