So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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