420 ftw
grandma shit on top of the toilet
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
