he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
