Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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