good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
