Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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