Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
