He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
