One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
