Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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