tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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