Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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