i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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