North Korea, Best Korea!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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