TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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