I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
