it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
