wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I believe in your delicious
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
