who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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