i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
