There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
