So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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