I hope mine doesn't look like that
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My vagina just clenched in fear
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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