two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
