How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
