There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
