she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
