Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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